VATANAK2011I grew up in a family where violence was very common . As a child , I often saw adults being angry at each other, fighting one another. They hurt others and they hurt themselves because of anger.
Similar to them, as I grew older , I seemed to follow their path. Whenever I felt angry , I wanted to do something. I wanted to revenge the person who made me angry, or I wanted hurt myself because I couldn’t hurt them in return.
I once was angry at my dad so mad that I ran away from home late at night. I ended up in a place where I was almost being human trafficked. However, two men approached me and asked me to return home because the place I was at was dangerous.
I recall a time when I was angry , I intentionally cut one of my fingers and it was bleeding.
I remember a time when I was angry , I picked up a stone and threw it to my older sister. It was so close to her that it could have hurt badly.
When I was on a street back in 1990, I and my brother were selling newspaper when one of my counterparts made me very angry. Together with my brother , we hurt him very badly.
What causes anger ?
There are many reasons that cause anger. The following reasons are just some of them that I have often noticed.
Selfishness
Being selfish can often lead us to anger easily . When we don’t get what we want , we tend to be angry at others.
Look at a child who really wants to do something. When he or she can’t get it , they will be angry and start to cry.
Whenever I am on the street and having to wait and wait for slow vehicle drivers in front of me , I feel frustrated.
Adults can feel angry when they don’t get what they want either. Men in relationship feel mad when their partners don’t give them what they desire or what they want.
Having to wait for someone to pick up our important calls can be frustrating sometimes. Yet, we don’t often ask why they fail to pick our calls. We rather jump into judgement.
He that is slow to anger is of great understanding; But he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.
Proverbs 14:29 ASV
Pride
Sometimes we are angry because someone points out our mistakes . Inside us , we know we know we are wrong but we don’t want to accept our mistakes . Instead, we tend to find that person’s fault to revenge.
When we uncontrollably and rudely respond to someone who is trying to correct us, we can hurt them and leave scar on them and they might not want to correct us again in the future.
A soft answer turneth away wrath; But a grievous word stirreth up anger.
Proverbs 15:1
I personally have to learn this. Whenever someone corrects me on something. First , I know I will feel not happy. However, I try to see this as my opportunity to grow by learning something.
Misunderstanding
People are quick to judgement . They don’t stop to ask if they are not sure about it. It is not everybody but sometimes we are like that . We don’t stop ourselves and ask questions to verify before we trigger our anger.
We might be angry at someone because of their actions. We felt bad later on when we learned that their acts were intentionally meant for our good.
I’ve noticed quite often in married couples including mine. We turned mad to each other because we misunderstood each other .
He that is soon angry will deal foolishly; And a man of wicked devices is hated.
Proverbs 14:17
What to do when in Anger ?
- Patience – we need to accept that anger is not just about feeling but also a choice we can make .
- Cautions – our hurting actions can quickly slip when we are angry. People may regret after the eruption of their uncontrollable anger.
- Words – we hate bad and ugly words . Yet, when we feel very angry, we tend to use them. Hurting words can cause stains in people’s lives.
- Reconciliation- we need to find ways to restore our broken relationship caused by anger. Divisions cause pain , bitterness, and grudges.
- Be selective about friends – some friends influence our lives. When we hang out with bad temper people, we can be somehow influenced.
- Be careful about stupid habits- we need to watch how we react whenever we are angry. We might think breaking a small cup is a good way to release our anger. If we don’t stop this when it is small , we will turn into breaking a larger scale later on in life.
