VATANAK2011Date: 21 December 2018 / written by : Chouly Mech
The following article HAS NOT BEEN PROOFREAD
We wanted to share Chouly Mech’s story as she tried to write it in English. She love to help others. She has such a beautiful heart.
Hope in the Darkness
We already know that every life in this earth isn’t fair at all but when you look at God. It will change your thought because everyone could have only one life and that is a gift from God, you have a choice to choose to live or die, to sad or happy. So you need to use your life in useful way.
Since I was young, I had so many questions to ask myself.
Why my life is so different from another?
Why I was born in broken family?
Why am I poor?
Why am I blind?
Why No one love me?
Why my mom leaved me alone?
Why I have no choice to choose?
Why some people look down on me even though they are educated?
Why am I not smart like another student?
No matter how my study is not good but I still keep studying because one thing that I only know, education can help me from poverty.
I always wish that I could finish high school. And Then I can graduated from association degree of midwifery because of my relative and my wonderful mom who support me but on that time I am so depression, have no any purpose in life, hopeless because I couldn’t work well with my skill. My hands were so shaking whenever I injected my patients and my brain always forget this and that. So I still tried to do it many time but it didn’t help me so I decided to stop working. Because of this reason I always blamed myself, I did not want to talk with anyone and it made me want to stay in the darkness and no hope So I asked God if he loves me ‘why he did not help me when I needed him’’?
Since 2015 I can survival because I am a freelance translator for Medical Mission for New life Church. In 2017 I am volunteer to teach English at New Life Followership because I love the Pastors, students, teachers and environment there.
In 2017 I went to the province for medical translate and that time the team ask me
“Why do I believe in God and when”?
Lols, I never know when I started to believe in Him.
But I know the reason why?
The first reason that I believe in God because I can study at New life Church and I feel like their teaching is so different from another school. Exactly I no need to respect too much in the class, we are so open and we have much freedom to talk with all the pastor who I love but am I brave to do all this thing. So I would like to thank so much for New Life Fellowship
Secondly, because I am so weakness, foolishness and unsuccessful students. I do love to learn but my result is so bad. Sometimes I am so lonely and no hope however I always wish that I could finish high school and can speak English and Japanese influentially that is my big dream. Even though it is not good but I am so excited that I can do it.
The last importantly, because I meet Mel, On that time, I believe in God but I had no real answer to prove why I believe in Him because I just want to learn English at Church, God is so miracle so it is very hard to make me believe in him and my heart is like a rock and I am the one who wondering a lot about God. I am supper broke because I already graduated from university and I just leave my job because of my hands was shaking when I injected the patient. I feel like I am so crazy because I cannot control myself. That is the gift that God give me?
If he created me why he cannot help me when I ask him to help.
I am low self-esteem when I meet the new people. I cannot talk well in front of their face. However one thing that I am happy with myself because I can give something to the poor so it makes me forgot my unsuccessful, foolishness and weakness. However God really open the way for me like I can have very good job with a very beautiful lady outside and inside. I never understand what real love! Because of her I learn so many thing in one year, I can forgive my father, learn to be patient, decrease my jealousy, keep going and I am so blessing because I can meet so many good people. Without my boss maybe my eye can’t have surgery in Nepal and that is my first time in my life that I can go to Nepal, Malaysia and Singapore. And along the way to do surgery she is the one who takes care of me. Praise the Lord because I am so blessing that I can have a beautiful lady who take care of me and guiding me along the way. Just only one year that I am working with her, my life is so amazing and I can do so many thing that I never do before because I am working with Brave Ministry and our job is to change people life to be a better life. We help so many blind who sing on the street, the old people who is poor and live without hope and some woman who is window and no money to buy milk power.
